“One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show!”

Let me just say that I know that the things I am about to vent about/share seem a bit silly. But I am genuinely mind boggled and annoyed! And you all always help me so much, just by reading and leaving your awesome comments and insight!

So, shall we?

1. I’m not being a “Player.” Players make people think they are more of a priority than they actually are, and mislead them in various ways. I prefer the term “Dater.” There is no (mutual) statement of exclusivity to tie me to any of the contenders. Yes, I said contenders. People need to work for the privilege of your attention and time. You should call them contenders, too! May the best man win!

2. Being a dater is not as glamorous as the movies, novels, and Sex and the City episodes depicted. I am thoroughly confused. I’ve got a good 9-10 guys I text/talk to on a daily basis, and I accidentally mixed up names and numbers in my phone. Which means I’ve had to break my neck to cleverly ask them their names, and figure out who is who. If you ever want to feel REALLY stupid, just ask a guy named Ty, “How do you spell your name again? I want to make sure I did it right….” WOMP,WOMP!

3. Once you get the names down, you talk to them all so frequently that you start to mix them all up. So then, it’s “Send me a picture for your caller ID pik!” and then you’re like, “Awww, crap! I thought he was the TALL one with the nice abs, not the darker one with the super pretty smile!” Ugh….waste of time. WASTE. OF. TIME.

4. One of them calls you at midnight from a private number. RUDE. So you answer, fearing it’s the police asking you to come pick your father up from a bus stop bench again, but you learn it’s some guy. And you tell him “Um…I’m asleep! I have work in the morning. Call me tomorrow….BEFORE 10 pm!” and THEN, he calls you the next day at seven thirty pm, and says “Do you know who this is?” No, dummy! You called me from a private number. Who are you, and what on earth do you want? And why is your number private? What are you hiding? And also, can you send me a picture for your caller ID pik……? Lol.

5. Dating and such is not the same as it was five years ago when I was fresh out of high school. I have work, workouts, Vegas trips, etc…..I do not have TIME to keep names and photos straight, nor to even legitimately date the guys! But I love the attention! I love having the options. I know that I’ll eventually make time, once I have my car, and once I get a little more accustomed to the new work schedule. But really? I’m just having fun right now. There are TWO guys who I am actually interested in. And it’s not like the old days, where you could just number the guys in your phone. “Oh, number one called earlier, but he’s not as funny as number 7…..I don’t know how I feel about number three, he’s a flake….” LOL. I am ashamed to say I actually did that.

Bleh. Well, what can you do? For whatever reason, although I’ve made it clear I’m not the type of girl who does casual flings, and that I am not trying to marry a man in the military and mass produce children, and that I do not accept phone calls after ten pm, and that I have a busy schedule….they keep texting and calling. And I keep mixing them up. And I think I’m in a little over my head! Lol.

Any suggestions? I promise I’m actually going to go out with some of these guys. There’s an authentic Thai restaurant I heard about that I’m dying to try, and it sounds like the perfect date place!

I asked that guy Jesse out on an NFL Sunday date, because we are both NFL fans, and he was all gung-ho and said “I’d love to! :)” and I let it slide that he sent me a smiley face emoticon and everything….and I haven’t heard from him in almost a month. Kind of a bummer, but as I always say: “One monkey don’t stop no show!”

The show must go on! And I must get a better dating organization system! AHHH!

Good gracious, and good night!

‘Til Next Time!

XOXO

Things I Won’t Miss About Being a Big Girl…

Mmmmhmm. I said it.

Might sound a bit ridiculous, but there are some things that I cannot WAIT to put behind me in life as I shed the pounds. and well, let’s face it, lists are pretty amusing, in terms of how to share with people. It’s clear, concise, and still leaves room for a bit of humor. Best case scenario, they encourage me to keep it brief…but, well…you know me!

So, shall we?

“Things I Will NOT Miss from My Life as a [Former] Big Girl”

1. I will NOT miss the men who approach me solely because I am plus sized. “Dang girl…you big just the way I like ’em! And you cute, too!” Call me shallow…but should the cute come first there, ya think? Hot mess!

2. I will NOT miss what I like to call the “Big Girl Shorts Dance.” A.K.A. the uncomfortable and not easily missed action of try to readjust your shorts because your thighs rub together, and you can’t freaking look like a normal person, because there is a big “V” -like wrinkle right there, where your shorts are supposed to fall normally. Maybe you can relate, maybe not. Feel free to ask me to demonstrate in person. That’s one of my FAVORITE jokes to use, and it’s pretty dang funny. You’ll notice you don’t see me in shorts too often.

3. Shoot. I will NOT miss my thighs rubbing together. HALLELUJAH!  Maybe I’ll get one of those nifty little spaces between my legs like everyone else. And then my shorts won’t have anywhere to hide!

4. I will NOT miss having to act a fool with people who think I can’t hear them when they make little fat jokes when I walk past. Realistically, someone will ALWAYS have something to say about you….fat, skinny, tall, short…whatever. But it really pushes my buttons when people do that. They don’t even KNOW me, but they blame me for little earthquakes when I walk by? Oh, honey! I’ll SHOW you a natural disaster, right after I’m done verbally assaulting you. Then at least I get to be the MEAN and fat girl. I can deal with that.

5. The quaint descriptions people bestow upon you: “She’s the kinda (motions hands about 2 ft from either side of their body)… um…big girl? With the curly hair?” Shame on it.

6. The looks the clerks give you at that utterly absurd 3,5,7 store in Ontario Mills. Whose bright idea was it to have a store that only sells three sizes, anyways? Smack yourself!

7. The “harmless” comments from the Asian nail ladies. “You have BIG leg! You big girl! Big feet!” Yeah, well….you have big mouth. You just go ahead and smack yourself, too!

8. How about the guys that aren’t chubby chasers? Those are some real charmers right there….”You know, I normally don’t go for big girls….”. Ok. So I’m the graaaand exception, and I’m supposed feel super special? No. I normally don’t go for the mentally handicapped, so you thank ME, how about that?

9. I won’t miss girls who look at me like I committed a felony when I walk down the street with a reeeeeally good looking guy. Hate on me, hater! But hey, don’t worry….he usually plays shallow and doesn’t go for my type. Maybe he’ll pick you next time? Good luck with that!

10. Ahhh. I think I’ll end here, before I get even more riled up. I will not miss walking into a store and having to beeline for the accessories. I patiently (ha, right) await the day that I can shop in any store, and buy anything I’d like. Unfortunately, I know the shoes will always be an issue (it’s 2011, and models have HUGE feet. Can I puh-leeeze get Size 11 cute shoes regularly in stock? DANG!), but hey….progress is progress!

Well, this was VERY fun for me. And although I know I seem to be bitter and cynical in some respects…I am truly having fun with this. And I am not resentful….just observant. There are stigmas about every body type…but I’ve become very familiar with the ignorant ones that chase after the “chubbies” like myself. Sometimes, you just have to keep it real, call ’em out, and keep on going.

‘Til next time!

XOXO

5 Reasons to Love Yourself

Whew! Is it already Thursday? Quick weekly recap?:

1. Not only do my bangs STILL continue to make me ridiculously happy on a daily basis, but now, my peek-a-boo blonde highlights also make my freakin’ day! Candace, once again, did a fantastic job! I’m enamored!

So THIS is love!

2. I went to H and M the same day I got my hair done, and bought FIVE dresses, for $35! All of them were $7 on clearance. And they were size 14! According to Candace, H&M runs a size small….which means I am wearing size 12 dresses. Please….no applause! 😉 My favorite thing? One of the dresses makes me look like a big, bi-racial Rachel Berry from Glee. Lol.

YESSSSSSS!!!!

3. Alex’s boyfriend came home last Friday, and a) it is SO nice to see my best friend happy, and a little more relieved now that her boyfriend is back. 2) Someone is here to prank her the way she pranks me. Payback is a you-know-what! YESSSS!

4. Speaking of which, did I mention we went to the Haunted Trail in Balboa Park last week and a man with a chainsaw CHASED me all over the place? Not the business! Don’t these people know I’m crazy?!?! Although, I was still cruising on an adrenaline high from finding $20 before we got into the trail, so I was good!

It’s been about 17 weeks since I had my VSG Weight Loss Surgery, and I am down 68 lbs!

I have to say, time flies when you’re changing your life!

I wake up every morning, and forget that I have a completely new life now. It’s habit to go about my morning my routine, and then make my protein shake, or grab a protein bar to start my day. I remember back in the day, when I never even ate breakfast! Now, you can see a noticeable difference in me if I miss it…and yet, I only drink it because I need to! It’s so nice to wake up without being hungry, and to think of ten million other things to do when I’m hungry, besides eating!

My pants are all pretty much worthless these days. I bought scrubs in a smaller size than I would have a few months ago, and HALLELUJAH, the thighs aren’t being suffocated by the bottoms!  As a matter of fact, the dang things constantly have to be tightened all day. Also, I used to wear a size 22 in jeans…I just purchased two pairs of size 18’s (on CLEARANCE!) and bought dresses at H and M in a size 14!It’s an awesome feeling. My dimples show more, my face looks thinner, and I just feel BETTER most days.

So, in celebration of the “little things” in the weight loss journey? I give you:

5 Reasons to Love Yourself, No Matter What

1. I don’t care how many times people tell you who or what you remind them of. You are the most UNIQUE, and POWERFUL thing you will ever encounter in your existence. You just have to decide to embrace and utilize that. Don’t settle for less than you want, and never accept less than you deserve just because it’s what you wanted. If you put your mind to something, you will figure out a way to make it real every single time. I can tell you this, because I used to be the most self-destructive person, with unbelievably low self-esteem. There was a time in my life when I didn’t speak, and I walked around looking at the ground. But hey, look at me now. 🙂

2. You know what is amazing about life? There is something, and somebody for everyone. Sometimes, I find myself looking at couples wondering “How did he/she end up with him/her, and I’m ALONE?!?!” But you know what? Patience, I am learning, is key. You don’t have to change who you are, or lower your standards to find or hold onto love. Again: “Forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.” You know those people who work hard, knowing that in time, they will get the promotion and raise? Same concept. Keep doing what you need to do. Love from someone else will come. But it starts with you.

3. You have the ability to change anything you choose. Every revolution started with 1) an idea and 2) a person brave enough to turn that idea into a plan of attack. I never thought I’d be taking this journey. I had to have the guts to find out all the risks and benefits, and then essentially put my life and health into someone else’s hands to get here. But, I DID it. And now, I am here, sharing the journey with people who care enough to check and see how I am doing. It’s scary, putting your life out there for people to view. You know they may analyze, judge, and criticize. But at the end of the day? I just tell it like it is, and call it how I see it. And I am flattered anyone cares to look at all, regardless!

4. You can create happiness. When people seem down, I’ve learned that a simple hug, piece of candy  (BAD Sondra!), note, text, email, or Starbucks run can make all the difference in the world. I do silly little things like putting up “positive thought” posters, because everyone always looks and has no choice but to smile for at least a second….even if it’s just at the fact that I really went to all that trouble. I am a happy person, with a positive outlook. Grumpy people are just an invitation in my eyes! Take that extra step. You’ll be surprised how you make someone’s day! Imagine how different the world could be if we spent a minute talking TO someone, instead of talking ABOUT them. Crazy stuff.

5. Someone loves you. First, I ADORE you. And everyone has family and friends that they consider the biggest part of their hearts. Sometimes, I think if you looked at yourself the way your loved-ones do, you’d walk with your head skyyyyy high! When the people I love compliment me, I’ve learned to say “Thank you!” and take what’s mine. Don’t insult those people by telling them their love and observations are false. They tell you that you are wonderful to remind you, not because they want you to confirm it!

Don’t be afraid to love yourself. You hold more worth than you could ever imagine.

I know I’m getting a little deep here, but still….sometimes, you just gotta go there!

‘Til next time!

XOXO!

….but YOU Can Call Me Hollywood….

It’s almost WEDNESDAY! Which means the week is almost OVER! Kinda….

Anyways, moving on! I had a million things run across my mind today, and I feel like sharing.

First, my SeeSondraSlim business cards, or “Promo Cards” as I like to call them, arrived today!

 

New SeeSondraSlim promo cards arrived in the mail today!! ❤

If you find yourself in the market for some snazzy cards of your own, check out Moo.com! I was able to upload my own images, and crop them to my liking for my cards. I’m still in search of the perfect S3 Logo, but in the meantime, I have to say it….putting my own face on them seemed to be pretty legit! Especially considering the fact that I claim to be a narcissist. The back of the cards display all my social networking and blog info, and even have a cool scan code that phones can pick up to take you to my site! SWEET! If you’re interested in having some of your own, click here for a promotion they are running to get 10 FREE cards of your own, shipping included! Have some fun with it…I know I did! And now, I have a way to share my blog with others that doesn’t involve writing URL addresses on receipts and other odds and ends. Lol.

Also, I had an interesting conversation with one of the guys that used to call me constantly. We just sort of drifted apart (my fault, admittedly), and today he called just to tell me he was thinking about me, and that he sees all the changes I am making. He also said that he was proud, but not surprised. When people say things like that, it makes my heart swell with an inexplicable pride. I tell myself everyday that I am a force to be reckoned with, and that I can do anything I put my mind to. But, there is just something about someone else seeing that in you, and letting you know. He’s always called me “Hollywood,” which kinda makes my skin crawl. I know I have Diva tendencies and I’m a bit over the top, but to me that moniker implies that I am ridiculously materialistic and shallow or something. I inquired as to why he insists on that nickname, and he says “It’s rooted in American history, CJ. Everyone knows the magic of it, but not everyone can find the courage to just get there.” Now that? That, my friends, was quite the compliment. And now, I might have a teeny, tiny piece of myself regretting that I let someone that eloquent get away!

Which brings me to the next thing I thought about. The cold weather is approaching! Which means I am missing those years way back when (yeah, it’s been THAT long) that I had a boyfriend to plan awesome trips with, and cozy meals for, and all that other mushy seasonal relationship crap. I did recently propose an NFL date to the one person I have any interest in recently, but he is still in Texas, and I haven’t taken the initiative to contact him since then. And he certainly hasn’t called me, so maybe that one is no longer valid. I’m not really worried, because I have a feeling that someone will show up and make me go all crazy and goo-goo eyed when I least expect it. Until then, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of things to keep me occupied!

For starters, I am re-instituting the 6am workouts starting tomorrow. I am TERRIFIED that I will end up a big bag of drooping skin, and while I realize this isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a person, it’s still not ideal. And I am not getting to the gym nearly enough. I hit the Wii Fit this morning, and then proceeded to make a YouTube playlist and learn the choreography to SuperBass by Nicki Minaj and Crazy in Love by Beyonce….but it’s not enough. So, back to early mornings of running it is! Wish me luck…because my alarm clock and I are not the best of friends!

I found a little surprise in my closet Sunday night, as I was hanging up the dresses I had been playing dress-up in. Don’t even get me started.

I've named him Spike. I'm selling him on CraigsList...

Hmmm. I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Getting back into selling mark. again, so I am working on not only marketing S3, but marketing that business as well. I’ve had the tools for the whole time, but I need to get back into doing the makeup parties, etc. The new magalog is out, and the holiday items are seriously lust-worthy! Check out my mark e-boutique if it suits your fancy! My mark. E-boutique.

Also, check out my friend Denise’s Scentsy website. I am newly obsessed with Scentsy! I have the prettiest wall burner, and my new full sized burner and scent bars should be arriving this week! My room is going to smell like heaven! People go nuts over it for a reason…I am mad it took me so long to check it out! I’ll post piks of my new burners soon!

If you get bored, have some fun with these:

Nicki Minaj Super Bass Choreography Tutorial

Beyonce Crazy in Love Choreography Tutorial

Yup. I really spent time learning these, with videos. Lol.

Hope everyone gets through the rest of the week smoothly!

‘Til Next Time!

XOXO

Post-a-Day Challenge #272

So.

WordPress has a thing they call The Daily Post, that gives bloggers a topic or “challenge” prompt every day of the year. I just learned about this, and today’s seemed rather appropriate.

Topic #272:

Jody Williams, winner of the 1997 Nobel Peace prize, advises that the winners this year ‘Stay true to themselves’.  This is advice we often here is kids or in movies, but what does it really mean?

First of all, how do you discover who your true self is? It seems many people don’t quite know who they are.  Second, most people have some qualities that they wish they didn’t have, such as jealousy, envy, insecurities or prejudices. Staying true to those things wouldn’t seem to be in our interest.

What does it mean to you to stay true to yourself? Which part of yourself to you think about?

My Response:

It took a LOT of events and epiphanies to learn who I am. In fact, it’s probably safe to say that when it all comes down to it, I am STILL learning more about myself, and who I am every single moment of each and every day. I am loud, crazy, motivated, sarcastic, charming, outgoing, resilient, inquisitive, cynical, unpredictable, attracted to glittery things….the list goes on.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t criticize myself so much. Despite the utterly narcissistic self-love I’ve got going on, I really concentrate on what I perceive to be my flaws. I hate my flabby arms and my gigantic thighs. I feel slight twinges of jealousy when people talk about their successful relationships, because I haven’t been in a relationship in years. I also discriminate against milk, and all milk-based or milk-like products. I seriously have to drown my soy milk in a) espresso and caramel or b) an extra scoop of powdered pb and chocolate protein to drink it. Also, I have these crazy bouts of anxiety when I feel my OCD getting out of hand: people running late, my hair not cooperating, someone placing salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table, or leaving their straw wrappers askew? These things actually bother me….to the point that I cannot concentrate on anything except NOT “fixing” whatever is bothering me.

Staying true to myself, for me? It means embracing who I am. So what. I’m a girl with flabby arms, big thighs, OCD, and no boyfriend.

But guess what? At the end of the day, I can be pretty awesome!

Because I am also a girl with a mission, a plan, a purpose, and a mouth full of expletives ready for anyone who has a problem with it.

‘Til next time!

XOXO